We are all going to die!

We are all going to die!

I am confident I heard someone say these exact words at the store yesterday. It may have been just the voices in my head playing with me again, but hey, it is what I heard.

While for the past week I have heard about the next Snowmageddon here in the Atlanta area and watching people lose their minds, my family and I talked and made a plan and took action. I had been watching the outside weather and saying it was going to be a non-event. Our trip to the store was not the typical freak out and grab all the bread and milk you can from the grocery store shelves. I mean, what can you make out of bread and milk anyway, French Toast? Nope, you need eggs. Regardless, my wife used this time to grab some non-traditional items and some regular groceries that we needed for the week anyway.

I reviewed the list before us piling into the Jeep because it had been pouring down rain for the past eight hours and was continuing to form into both harder rain and frozen rain. This meant I wanted to make sure we could make it back home should some idiot decide to run me off the road because they do not know how to drive in the rain, or something worse.

The list consisted of items we would normally grab for our weekly meals, the exception was an extra case of water and a couple of candles should the power go out. I scratched the candles off the list when I explained to my wife the ones I wanted were not at this store and we had plenty for this time should the need arise.

As we drove to the store it was as if people had lost their minds and while we live in a mainly self-centered, me-focused society, this time was worse. People were cutting folks off in their cars, diving into parking spaces that others were patiently waiting on, running over people with their shopping carts because they had to get in and get out quickly and snatching things off the shelf in front of others as they were reaching for the same item. I thought my daughter and wife were going to kill at least one person each.

At one point yesterday, I kept more than my cool because the inside bear in me wanted to put the Jeep in park, walk to the horn honking, impatient butt head behind me, tap on the glass with the barrel of my pistol and say, “honk that m-fing horn one more time and see what happens”. But I did not.

In the store, we grabbed some extra tuna packets because they were on sale and started towards the registers at the front of the store because we were all satisfied with our items. However, when I got to the front, most registers were at least ten people deep and I was totally aghast at how many people just get in line behind someone not knowing what register they were heading too.

My wife looked at me and I knew that meant, “go find a shorter line”. I briskly walked up and down the line seeing both end registers reach a fifteen deep line. After finding one that had two people in front of us, I motioned to my wife who was very pleased with my decision.

I watched the fellow shoppers snap pictures and post them online, cut in front of others and one lady tried to cut in front of my wife when she was about to reach the conveyor belt. That was a mistake. She quickly, but politely, told her the back of the line was behind the five people BEHIND us.

Other than a few people rushing to get out of the parking lot which prevented me from pulling out of the space and another idiot trying to cut me off when turning down the road heading home, nothing happened to speak of.

My son also made it safely home from work in the rain knowing he had a backup plan if needed. My daughter started cast iron pan frying the steaks we had left over from a family pack we had bought several months ago. Mashed potatoes and creamed corn were the side items and yes, I am aware that they are both starches and neither are paleo but assuredly “we are all going to die” and I wanted my last meal to be a good one. It was topped off with a nice double shot of a recently obtained Garrison Brother Texas Bourbon Whiskey, which I had never heard of or had before. I was very pleased.

The snow started and wind howled through the night. We were ready for certain death that was going creep up on us while we slept snugly in our beds much like the spirit of death crept in on the Egyptians while the Israelites put blood on their doorposts.

I awoke this morning and promptly checked to make sure I was still alive. I looked outside and chuckled at this:

We are all going to die

Oh sure we did get snow and the wind will continue to howl all day long. But with only a twenty-percent chance of precipitation today and twenty-two degrees, along with the fact that tomorrow brings 50-degree temps with no precipitation, I think yesterday’s events showed people’s true colors. I try to see the better in people but things like those events do not make it easy.

I leave you with these two things. First, always check your preps so you are not one of the folks rushing to the store at the last minute. Secondly, remember we are human and not animals. The nastiness I saw yesterday has only been topped by the human race at the stores the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday. No, I vowed never to go do that again and have held to that self promise for ten years.

That is it. Check yourself and your attitude. You will see that by being prepared and using my instincts to watch the weather itself and not the television, I was able to use my instincts to survive.

Until then,

Use your instincts to survive

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